Building Confidence

Lately, D and I have been spending a lot of time together, partly because I am in the pursuit of getting him up to speed with his numbers and letters. No, he is not behind, he is where he should be but he lacks confidence. Confidence in his abilities. And it gets worse when he makes a mistake which when pointed out results in reluctance or reticence. He completely shuts down and refuses to continue with his lesson.

I met with his teachers a few weeks ago and the most important thing I came away with was that he needs a whole bunch of ‘positive reinforcement’. Something I forget as I tend to be impatient and short with him, especially when he isn’t focused or clowning around instead of getting his lessons done. I am much more conscious of my actions and reactions now after the fateful chat with his teachers. I am mindful of how I am and what my approach is and am working hard at keeping my shortness in check.

We have indeed managed to establish a ‘study’ routine for him. He now allots half hour -45 minutes everyday during which he sits down in his quaint little study table by his bedside and does his work. He knows that he needs to do this and he follows and obeys it diligently. I got him a bright, colorful magnetic wall calendar that he now uses to brush up his years, months, dates, weeks and with which he can mark his own ‘special days’ with all sorts of fancy buttons. There is one for almost every occasion. For instance, we went out to McDonald's on Saturday for lunch-it was totally his idea that we go and we did. And boy, what fun we had. And the first thing he did when he woke up that day was place the ‘go out to eat’ button on his calendar. It was a thrill to see him thrilled as he planned his day. The calendar has undoubtedly made his ‘numbers’ time more fun, playful and interesting. Now he insists on finishing his work in his room as opposed to doing it in the kitchen like he did before. Praise, affirmations, rewards in the forms of treats and stickers have helped along the way – evident in his remarks like ‘I love school, mama’ or ‘I enjoy doing my letters and numbers’ or 'Mama, its time for me to do my numbers and letters'. And he has begun to read. My boy READS now! He has his own set of beginner books that we read every night.

He starts kindergarten next summer and I hope we are able to get him ready and prepped as he embarks on this new journey. It seems like we are on the right path- I just hope we continue on without losing sight of his sensitivity, the direction he needs and succeed in strengthening his confidence and spirit.

This morning on my way to work with him in the back seat, all ready for school, I asked him:

D, you know what?
What?
I really like hanging out with you.
I do too mama.

And as I sneaked a peak, I could see his beautiful face break in to a smile. A smile that exudes optimism and self-assurance.