Off late I have been screaming and yelling at D. Quite frequently, to be honest. There are times when I completely lose my cool and find myself screaming my guts out at him. He is an energetic, stubborn 3 year old who is growing not just physically but more so emotionally. He is learning to express his anger and defiance in a way that makes me wonder if this really is a toddler and not a young adult. His favorite word at this point of time is ‘no’. NO to anything and everything. It is so frustrating, especially after a hard day at work to come home and put up with your toddler’s refusal to do anything or listen to what you have to say!
Having a baby in the house makes the situation even more difficult. More often than not, his tantrums and resistance are caused by the fact that our attention (mine and hubby’s) is divided. With A being so small, and D almost independent, we naturally tend to focus and watch out more for A than him. There are times when I can clearly sense his insecurity, the way he starts whining and wants to be picked up. And he is the most defiant when he feels unattended and neglected. I guess this is all very normal and natural but for the past few days, I have been feeling awfully guilty for treating D the way I have been.
My nitpicking and scolding aren’t unwarranted. He surely needs to be told off. But it’s been so frequent that I am wondering if I am over-reacting. I get particularly mad when he is NOT gentle with A. He pushes her, raps her on her tiny head, takes her toy away from her, all signs of jealously. Sibling rivalry? Already? I don’t think he knows what he does most of the time but he becomes aware as soon as we send him to the corner. He has memorized the consequences of his actions:
If I misbehave, Mama and Papa will give me away….
I will have to go to the corner…
Papa will not take me to swim lessons….
Papa will return my DVD player to the store…..
To name a few….
On the other hand, he can be the sweetest brother possible. It is heartwarming to see how he hugs and kisses A, wipes her spit off her mouth, tries to feed her (actually quite a nuisance when he does that, but it is the thought that counts!), makes faces at her just to see her laugh and laugh, she does. Oh yeah… a full throttle laugh that is absolutely magical!. The best part is when they are both strapped in their seats in the back seat of the car and are heartily laughing away to glory. What they are laughing about, I have no clue. It is as if they have a secret code, a language, only comprehensible to them but the very sound of their happy voices, make me smile and feel immensely grateful for having them in my life!
So where am I getting at? Coming back to D’s incorrigible ways. He is undoubtedly is his terrible threes. I don’t know why they called the two’s terrible. It is actually the three’s. And both Hubby and I are hoping that this is another phase which shall pass too, a hurdle which we will cross in due time. I wish I had more tolerance, patience to manage my toddler. I pray for an extra dose of self-control and may I get some soon, else I will end up pulling out all my hair, whatever is left of it!
As for D, he probably wouldn’t even notice that his mama is balding over him. After all, he is just a ‘normal’ 3 year old. At least that is what I would like to believe to keep myself lucid and rational! God help me!
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