Au revoir

Someone I know died a few days ago – succumbed to an aggressive form of brain tumor. What saddens me most is that it snatched away a man who was barely in his 40’s. Someone I remember as fun loving, jovial, always smiling and who looked out for me as if I was his own. I had lost touch with him and his wife, who is a distant cousin of mine. Last I heard was that they had moved to Goa and were building their lives as restaurateurs. When I visited Bombay once, many years ago, we spent a remarkably fun and joyful weekend. I wasn't quite good at keeping in touch with them. You know how it is. You get so immersed in your own life, trying to survive and get by, that you lose touch with some people hoping to reconnect again. Unfortunately the re-connection didn’t happen until I was informed yesterday morning about his untimely death.

I knew I had to call my cousin right away. I felt quite odd at the thought of talking to her now after so many years and more awkward with the reason for which I was. The call lasted for about 20 minutes. I almost wanted to hang up as soon as I heard the phone ring. It was a very difficult call since I didn’t know what to say and expect. But my cousin made it easier for me. Her calm and steady voice, her composure in this awfully difficult time made me realize how strong and focused she is as a person. She seemed to have in some way, found solace. To know that her husband is in a much better place, devoid of pain and suffering.

The tumor was inoperable. It was lodged so deep in the brain that surgery was not an option from the start. She watched her husband as he braved the pain, every part of his body gradually shutting down and giving in to the dreadful disease. But he didn’t go down without a fight, just as I had expected. He, just like anybody else with a terminal illness, lost a lot of weight and of course hair as a result of the radiation and chemotherapy he had to go through. He stopped recognizing people around him including his wife, a month ago. The last conversation (maybe, just a line of two) my cousin had with her husband of almost 20 years was in February, 4 months ago.

As I talked to my cousin, his smiling face kept flashing across my mind. I kept seeing this robust, healthy man, full of life and raring to go, just as I knew him. Although I didn’t get to spend too much time with him, I can confidently say that the ‘weekend’ I spent with him and my cousin in Bombay, some 15 years ago, is probably one of the most memorable and fun filled weekends I have had. He was totally instrumental in making it happen with his inexhaustible energy and zeal. And that is how I want to remember him-someone who knew how to enjoy life and make the most of it.

So long Ashok. It was a pleasure to have known you. You will be missed. Show those ‘heavenly’ beings what FUN really is just as you showed me!