Blah!

2010 for me, has started rather ruefully. I am restless, frustrated, unsure about my career. My professional life, the direction its taking. I feel hopeless, lost. I have been a victim of this cluelessness in the past but this time something’s different. Unsettingly different.

I have options –not many but most are unrealistic given where I am in my career and limitations set by priorities on the personal front. The promising ones ironically gnaw at my confidence, weaken my self-esteem. I am scared of failure, that I will recklessly move on to something else only to realize that I made a grave mistake.

This morning CNN announced that only 45% Americans are satisfied with their current jobs. Job satisfaction is at its lowest point in 20 years (www.conference-board.com). This makes me a part of the ‘other’ group – the dissatisfied lot. It feels good not to be the only one going through this rut but on the other hand, this slump in the satisfaction rate will narrow my options, limit my choices for a better job. Stiffer competition, tougher luck.

My mind is going crazy with a myriad of thoughts, options, some tangible, doable while others lofty. I know I need some figuring out to do- a whole lot of it. But I don’t know where and how to start. I feel like a loser-unsuccessful, insufficient, doing meaningless work.